I was introduced to this research and study last spring and finally made it through the book this month. The book, Making A Difference by Dr Larry Little, is the first in a series of four on effective leadership utilizing an understanding of personalities. Whether in a marriage, family, work or community relationship, working through differences and conflict are essential for success. But not everyone experiences or processes these the same way. Understanding how I experience and process helps me understand my reaction to people or situations that don't line up with my view. Learning how others experience and process gives me the opportunity to speak their "language," if you will, and communicate more effectively.
Similar to other personality tests, think people, task, introvert and extrovert, Dr Larry uses animals as a unique twist. Monkey, Lion, Camel and Turtle are a fun way to discuss and process the information. For example a Camel: "When you think of Camels, think of processors, organizers, or systemic thinkers. It's all in the details for Camels. They are naturally introverted and pride themselves on following the rules." (pg 23) "The quickest way to destroy a relationship with a Camel is to withdraw all structure and organization from the relationship. Camels are analytical, detail-driven, and process-oriented. ...An unstructured environment causes a Camel to feel our of control. When a Camel feels out of control, he or she will become extremely critical and remove him or herself from the environment if at all possible." (pg 80-81)
Oh, my goodness, this is so me! While I may have some traits of the other animals and can certainly move outside my quadrant and, for example, be very outgoing in a certain situation, this is who I am when I am tired, stressed or in crisis mode. To be more emotional, outgoing or unstructured takes an emotional and mental toll on me, which then has to be replenished and refilled.
Once my primary animal was identified, the book then goes on to look at ways to communicate and connect with other animal personalities. I am detailed, but the Monkeys in my life are not. Asking my Monkeys to plan for next month is only going to frustrate both of us. Asking my Monkeys for ideas, creative avenues and to join me in a spontaneous activity can be fruitful. Learning how to work with each type or blending of types since not everyone is a thoroughbred, can limit frustrations and help resolve conflicts in productive ways so that our relationship(s) can grow and deepen.
My youngest is a wholehearted Monkey! She is outgoing and fun loving and spontaneous! She loves to spring ideas on the family, like right now we must go visit the cousins. Tomorrow will not work and next week might as well be forgotten. My second youngest is a Turtle (pictured below). He is thoughtful and emotional and determined. You cannot hurry him or speed him up or pressure him without risking a mental wall.
I kept thinking of the lessons I've been learning about love languages and how identifying mine is helpful and learning the languages of those I love and care about can deepen the relationships, but I can take it one step further and learn how to receive love communicated through other languages. Maybe this is similar. Understanding my personality and how I best communicate is helpful, but learning how to communicate, especially through conflict, in other languages can strengthen these relationships. Maybe one step further is to learn how to receive communication in a conflict or stressful situation in other languages.
There are three other books in the series, so I am sure I have more to uncover here, but I am enjoying the conversations in our home with my animals (it has often felt like I live in a zoo...) and broadening my understanding when working with the people in my life. Certainly making me think...
If you are interested in reading the book for yourself, it is available here
If you are interested in taking the personality test to discover whether you are a monkey, lion, camel or turtle, it is available here
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