Electrical

In 2008 the state of Iowa made changes to their building codes which require all wiring to be inspected at rough in and again upon completion. They also added that in new construction a licensed electrician must do the work. If we were remodeling or adding on, Ben could have done the wiring himself, like he did in the corn crib. Since this is considered new construction, however, we are required to hire this part of the construction out.

Getting past the disappointment, both because of cost and because it was one of Ben's favorite parts of construction, the company that we hired did a wonderful job! Inside of seven business days they had the entire house wired and passed the first inspection.

Above: The panel on the right is the main house/garage panel. The one on the left is the heat plus panel, which will get us a discounted rate on heat during the winter months because our primary heat source will be electric.

Below: The outlet in the middle of the entryway floor. This is the most popular question to date by those who have come to see the construction...What is that for? It is specifically for the lights on the Christmas tree (no extension cord).

Once all the drywall is hung, mudded and painted, the electrician will be back to finish connections for the final inspection, which must be completed and passed before we can move in.

Photo-a-Day

One of my goals for this year is to take more photos. I want to broaden my portfolio and expand my knowledge and ability. I love photos and photography enough that I feel this is something I should invest some time and effort in.

A couple years ago I first heard of this idea: take one photo a day. Just take a shot of something during my day, something affecting my life, just life happening. I LOVE the idea! Putting it into practice, now that is another story. I told myself I was going to accept whatever I managed to get done, but I have my camera bag in the middle of the house where I see it many times a day...just as a reminder.

I have taken about a hundred photos so far this month...but only about seven days...so a lot of room to improve. But I am very excited with what I have so far. Here are a few highlights...all original photos, no Photoshop used!






I am focusing my experiments with light exposure and my new 50mm 1.8f lens. Any ideas for next month?

Ugh...

Processing a lot of emotions tonight. This week has probably been the hardest since we lost the house last July. Between Sunday evening and early Monday morning, the house site was vandalized and equipment and several tools were stolen. So I now have another claim number and file started and more frustrating conversations with claims reps.

The house loss has been waves of grief and sadness. This feels like a violation and I am just plain angry. How dare someone, anyone damage property that doesn't belong to them and take things that aren't theirs. Our oldest keeps asking me why they don't just buy things with their own money instead of stealing. I don't have a good answer.

I want to believe that whoever it was really needs money for heat or food. That they have been laid off or strapped with medical bills and were just so desperate they didn't see another way. Somehow that would make it a tiny bit better...at least I tell myself that.

In the big picture, this isn't a big deal. They only broke the glass insert in the kitchen door and left the rest of the windows, doors, wiring, plumbing and drywall alone. They only got part of the tools and such, since Ben takes so much back and forth each trip. It is just a huge inconvenience. It has set us back a full week of work and a chunk of change (deductible again, since this is a separate claim).

I am not seeing God's hand in this yet...still praying for that glimpse with each encounter with insurance people and such. Please pray with me!

Six Months...and counting...

January 11, 2012 ~ Six months since we lost the house. Six months of not being able to go home, not feeling like normal, like we belong, not feeling rest and safe in that rest. Six months has flown by and yet crawled at a sometimes agonizingly slow pace. And as progress on the new house continues, I have come to the realization that moving into the finished house is not going to make this all "over."

Physically we are fine. Financially we will survive (I am working with a financial adviser, trying to take this hit as responsibly as possible). The new house will be finished and quite lovely, I'm sure. But emotionally and mentally, we have a long road of recovery still ahead...all six of us.

We didn't just lose a building and our things. We lost the place we felt we belonged, where we were safe to feel, learn, grow, express ourselves, make mistakes, to simply be! I miss that most of all.

I am finding myself depressed today...I want to cry...I just want to go home! I'm resisting the urge to toss the kids in the van and go buy a coke. I know that won't fix anything. I'm not craving the pop, but the comfort of the familiar. When the pop is gone my home will still be gone, it will just be accompanied by the yucky feeling I get when I don't eat/drink well. That certainly isn't going to help my mood any!

I am getting tired of the days I need to list the blessings, the positives. I need to spend some time alone with my journal again. I need to let myself be sad...but not today. Today four children need their mommy's love and support. Today phone calls need to be made. Today the next three weeks of work need to be lined up. Today I have the privilege of babysitting a precious little boy. Today is for my family...maybe tomorrow can have a smidgen of time for me.

Last summer I took some photos as part of a photography challenge.
This is the one I took for the theme "necessity" and given my mood today,
I think lots of water is a real necessity for my body today.

Philosophy on Happiness

Around the turn of the millennium, not this recent one go back a couple millennium to somewhere around 4 BC to 1 AD, Lucius Annaeus Seneca was born in Spain and moved to Rome by about 5 AD. During his (approximately) 70 years of life, he wrote 20 books, served as a tutor and later an adviser to Emperor Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus in the 40s, 50s and 60s, and is known as a Roman Stoic Philosopher. There are some other interesting facts about Seneca (the younger) and his father (Seneca the elder) and older brother (Gallio, mentioned in Acts 18). But for the purpose of this post, I want to focus on his philosophy on anger and happiness, especially as we start a new year.

Seneca believed that most of our anger is a result of negative things in life that surprise us, because we are too hopeful. His theory was that if we could prepare ourselves for the worst case, then when something bad happens we won't be surprised and therefore not get angry about it. The secret to happiness is to be more pessimistic.*

I was introduced to Seneca and his writings through a documentary on PBS this past weekend. It was part 3 of a six part series on happiness. You can watch the documentary here.

There is something about this philosophy that I agree with. Happiness may be felt when my expectations are met and when my expectations aren't met, anger is one of the emotions I may feel. I might also feel disappointed, hurt, sad, upset, let down, etc. Having reasonable expectations frees myself and those around me from predestined failure and potentially from the emotion that would follow, whether it be anger or just disappointment. But happiness is not a given even when everything goes the way I want it to or think it should.

On the other hand, constant focus and preparation for the worse case scenario steels life of its joy, in my opinion. If I expect you to fail me, things to go wrong, nothing to work out right, if I live in this state of pessimism, I become unimpressed. So you didn't do as badly as I had expected, good for you! So only two of the seven things whet wrong today, hooray! I find that to be very depressing.

I also know of situations where it is in my best interest to stay positive even though potential for negative is possible. Take having a baby, for instance, if I go into labor preparing myself for an emergency c-section, statistically, I am more likely to need an emergency c-section. If I, however, go into labor prepared for the long hall, telling myself that I can do this, chances are much more in my favor.** Outcomes for some things in life are very dependent on my frame of mind.

I think my philosophy on happiness is to set reasonable expectations, put my trust in God (not in man, for no matter how hard they try, a person is still human and cannot be everything for me all the time) and to focus on inner joy (yes, there is a difference).

Happiness is a feeling. Inner joy is a choice. I do not always feel happy, but I can choose to be joyful. Joy means "to experience great pleasure or delight" or to "rejoice", according to Webster. I can choose to rejoice, to delight, to find pleasure in the midst of something bad, negative, disappointing. Today, I am tired and sore, I haven't been sleeping well, I have a dry cough that won't give up and rest seems out of reach right now. I don't feel happy. But, today I get to be home with my four beautiful babies, Ben is meeting with the electricians (progress!) and the sun is shining! I am choosing to be joyful, to find delight in my day, not because of how I feel, but because of who I am.

* Disclaimer: This is more of a review on the documentary than of Seneca himself. The information I have on his philosophy is limited.

** Disclaimer: I am not judging birthing or c-sections.

Welcome 2012

Absolutely amazing to me how many items got marked off my list from last January, despite the turns and surprises last year held. I am excited as I pick up the lessons learned, growth accomplished and new pieces of me and carry them into this new year.

I have made a goal this year to once again blog at least once a week, 52 posts in 52 weeks. But I am adding some goals to my photography that I am anxious to integrate into my blog. "Photo a day" has been a new trend in scrapbooking circles and while I am overwhelmed with the magnitude of the task (thats 365 days of photographing in 365 days) but excited to see where it might lead me. I plan to share a few favorites once a month here and once a week on my photography Facebook page. Please share suggestions for these photos, any themes, styles, etc...

I also plan to continue sharing the journey with our home at least twice a month. So that leaves one a month to explore some of my other writing ideas: education, birthing, motherhood, worship, dance, music, oh, so many ideas!

I want to start with my thoughts on a documentary I saw today on PBS...be on the lookout for it!