Brave

I don't know your story...mine has had some pretty rough patches and pieces I would like to keep buried. Times I have wanted to quite trying to put the pieces together, times I just wanted to keep the pain, hurt, shame, fear hidden. The past calls out and stirs up pain that has not fully healed. Old wounds still sting. Owning my story (being honest with myself and others about who I am and where I come from) has not been easy.

But this week, I witnessed my children owning theirs...and it tore at my heart while at the same time building it up. They faced a major disappointment with a family member. Not one of them took it on personally or blamed themselves. Not one of them placed blame or shame on anyone else. Each of them recognized where responsibility lay, confronted the actually problem, voiced their frustration and pain and moved on with their day. I am still hurting.

I am hurting because this disappointment feeds back to old wounds still not fully healed. I am hurting because I so wish my children didn't have to face hurt like this. I am hurting because somewhere in this mess that is my story...my kids are witnessing truth and health and love. Somewhere in owning my story and loving myself through the process, they are learning to own theirs and love too. Some days I don't feel brave...but they sure did seem strong and courageous and brave...and for today, that is enough to keep me on this journey.