“Separation ~
Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color.”
Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color.”
by W.S. Merwin
Today is filled with a strange mix of tears and joy as we mark one year without little Sawyer (our cousin who died in a car accident at age three, 12/31/12). I think it has brought all of us to a place of reality, that what we love and hold dear will at some point be lost. I know it has shaped my year, as I've continued to process and heal from the loss of our home (which easily could have claimed the lives of our precious children). This quote tugged at my heart this week...our extended family has been forever changed and that change includes Sawyer's "color" running through us. We hold each other a little closer and seek the joy in the moments we have together.
At his funeral we sang "Jesus Loves Me," or rather, the congregation sang and I cried. I could imagine my little ones singing the chorus:
"Yes, Jesus loves J, R, A & A.
Yes, Jesus loves Mommy and Daddy.
Yes, Jesus loves Sawyer.
The Bible tells me so."
So today, I am baking cookies and sharing laughs and making memories with my children. It seems like the best possible way to honor Sawyer's memory.
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