A new year and with it a new list of resolutions, most of which will be abandoned before the end of the month. By June I am so frustrated with myself, I just want to give up and in December, I am mustering the courage to roll the list into a new one for the following year. What a hopeless cycle I've gotten myself into. I never really accomplish anything. I never feel good about myself. I just have this nagging regret that won't go away. But the draw to better myself, accomplish something great or mark something off of my "bucket list" compels me to compile the list...again.
But...remember that book I read? The one about getting into the "wow zone"? Well, it prodded me to really look at my list, honestly. What is really important to me? What will I truly regret when my life is over? How do I measure my success? When will I be happy? content? feel good about myself? Hard questions that took several years to sort out and some answers are still being defined. But what a change in my list this January...and in my attitude towards myself and my life.
I started by listing everything I had committed to for myself or someone else. Like learning Latin, printing and mailing pictures to a family member, touring Europe, losing 30 pounds. Then I went through them one by one and asked myself if this was really something I was going to accomplish? Is this really an attainable goal? I realized Latin was going to take more time, money and effort than I was willing to put into it. I also realized that the 30 minutes it would take to get those pictures in the mail was important for me and the person who requested them.
For the items I realized I was not going to get to, I took them off my list and if needed, apologized to anyone else affected by that decision. With the items left on my list of commitments, I put them on the calendar. I literally made appointments for myself to complete each item. For the first time, June was a chance to mark things off and regroup. December held excitement as I had actually accomplished something that year.
Still...something was missing...but that will have to wait for my next post.
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